I realise that girls like to take on the side-chick role and then #fail terribly at it. So in an attempt to prevent some unnecessary tears (water still short!), DATAGWAAN has compiled some rules to assist those who prefer the luxury of being with another woman’s man. These rules, if adhered to, will ensure that you’re a successful side-chick. Mi tired ah mi friend dem ah call me every second a bawl!

RULE #1:
If you fall easily, the side-chick role is NOT for you. Please to wait on your Prince Charming.

RULE #2:
Please to remember that you are a side-chick, NOT the main squeeze. Don’t expect the same treatment that a wife gets.

RULE #3
If he does treat you like a wife, don’t try to analyse his reasoning behind it. Just remember that you are still just the side-chick.

RULE #4:
Remember the role u signed up for. You are uncomplicated p@$$y. Don’t complicate the man’s life by calling him all hours of the night and early morning. Know your role.

RULE #5:
The wife does the nagging, not the side-chick. If you start nagging him, you remind him of his wife and that just won’t work. He will definitely replace you with another side-piece.

RULE #6:
He is not your personal man. Don’t expect him to introduce you to his family and friends. If he does, don’t try to analyse his reasoning behind it. Again, just remember that you are the side-chick.

RULE #7:
Don’t expect to see him during Christmas, New Year’s and any other major holidays. That’s wifey time, you have him for the rest of the year.

RULE #8:
Stop try breed fi the man fi hold him. Pickney nah hold man again. #thatisall

RULE #9:
Always remember, if he got with you when he already had a girl, why wouldn’t he cheat on you? Don’t lament that he is cheating, bitch what did you expect would happen?

RULE #10:
All you need to do is to f@ck him, feed him and don’t nag him. Ensure that you do all three extremely well.

RULE #11:
NEVER and I do mean NEVER contact wifey. Whether it’s via phone calls, text messages, bbm, emails, facebook. Don’t comment on her pics. She isn’t your friend. So nuh search the man phone looking for her contact details.

RULE #12:
If you play your role as a side-chick well, you MIGHT be promoted to the role of wifey and the wife might be put out. But remember, all that glitters is not gold and you might end up calling wifey desperately begging her to take him back.

You know what we say is the truth. Ah DATAGWAAN!!!